Simon Weston and Heather Mills

I bumped into that Simon Weston at the station last night. My complements to you sir for all you do to inspire people around the world.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the scale, I see Heather Mills-Gold Digger has just won £25m she didn't earn in her divorce case. Fucking scrounger! And to think she'd originally demanded £125m. Bitch! And she's still whining about it!

£25m. Most people would give their right arm for that. Erm ... :-) And she's not even a good shag. The woman has made marrying wealth an art form. Still, I guess now she's divorced she's going to have to go back to making second rate porn with other freaks.

Meanwhile, Simon Weston gets horribly burnt whilst fighting for his country and probably received a few grand a year pension from the army.

Wrong. Very, very wrong :-(

STOP PRESS: Bernie Ecclestone has just announced another race in the grand prix calendar. Only three wheeled cars will be permitted to enter and it will be known as the Heather Mills Grand Prix. It will be run over 4 years and the winner will receive £25m.